Is it time to say Happy Holidays yet, or am I premature? I seriously thought I was ahead of the game this year. The entire inside of our house is decorated, there are only two more Christmas trees to put up, I’ve already baked Christmas cookies and done a cookie exchange, successfully taken a few photos of Brenna in her new Christmas collar without getting mauled in the process, and searched through my gift boxes to discover that I have already purchased gifts for most of the people in my life that I’ll actually be giving a gift to. After all of that, I even managed to miraculously clean up all of the glitter and broken ornaments that were littered throughout the house during the holidayification process. Life was looking pretty gosh darn holiday easy breezy and glitter-free. But…there’s always a but…then, B.O.B. Bob and I sat down and started to go over our December schedule in hopes of finding a few days when we could go down and catch a hockey game after work, only to discover that we’re gonna be running around like little chicken elves with our heads cut off for pretty much the entire holiday season. It’s like someone tossed a big ol’ handful of difficult to ever get rid of super sparkly glitter up in our faces and shouted, “Bah Humbug Bitches!” We have holiday parties, movies, plays, home tours, outdoor markets, craft shows, and tree lightings to attend. At some point, perhaps I’ll learn not to overbook. Why do all of the holiday events have to be so darn fun and laden with f…ing glitter?
For those nights when I’m buried under a pile of wrapping paper and tape, viciously fighting for the bow that Brenna has destroyed during the one second I glanced away from her naughty little ass, I’ve decided that I’m going to let the crockpot cook dinner for us. Who cares if it’s Crockpot Monday or just a plain ol’ Tuesday? I’ve got a cat to wrestle to the ground, a Celtic tree to put up, Christkindlmarket to attend, and hockey games to enjoy. This year, if it’s not easy to assemble, then it’s not showing up on our weekday dinner table. Cough, cough…living room couch and coffee table. Let’s be realistic. There are just way too many holiday movies to waste time formally eating at a dinner table. Cheese and crackers taste better in front of the tv anyway. Added bonus, the living room coffee table is closer to the stairs where I’ve been spending the majority of my time lately. Brenna and the Snoopy tree at the top of the stairs have been having some serious arguments lately. Unfortunately, the Snoopy tree has not been winning those little spats, which means me coming to its rescue pretty frequently. A certain little kitty is going to find that Santa isn’t very generous this year, especially if she keeps destroying my damn bows. P.S. If you get a gift from me or B.O.B. Bob this year, ignore the f…ing teeth marks.
Ingredients:
Cranberry Layer:
- 1 (14-oz.) Can Cut Green Beans, Drained
- 1 (14.5-oz.) Can Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce
- 1 Granny Smith Apple, Peeled & Chopped
- 3 Tablespoons Orange Juice
- 1 Tablespoon Apple Brandy
- 1/4 Teaspoon Finely Ground Black Pepper
- Pinch of Kosher Salt
Ham Layer:
- 1 Large Ham Steak Slice (1.5-1.75 Pounds)
Stuffing Layer:
- 6 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter
- 1 Large Sweet Yellow Onion, Peeled & Chopped
- 1/4 Teaspoon Finely Ground Black Pepper
- Pinch of Kosher Salt
- 1 (14-oz.) Bag Herb Seasoned Classic Stuffing
- 1 (14.oz.) Can Low Sodium Chicken Broth
- 1 Granny Smith Apple, Peeled & Chopped
Directions:
Cranberry Layer:
- Mix together all of the ingredients with a silicone spatula.
- Evenly spread out the mixture in the bottom of a crockpot.
Ham Layer:
- Place the ham on top of the cranberry mixture.
Stuffing Layer:
- Saute the butter, onions, salt, and pepper over medium heat until the onions are translucent.
- In a large bowl, fold the onion mixture, stuffing, broth, and chopped apple together with a silicone spatula.
- Evenly layer the stuffing on top of the ham.
- Cook for 8 hours on low.
Suggestions:
- This dish can get very salt very quick if you aren’t careful. Make sure to use low sodium chicken broth. You can always add salt but you can’t take it away.
- I steer away from cubed seasoned stuffing due to the texture, however, you can use whichever dried stuffing mix you choose.
- If you prefer jellied cranberry sauce, use it in lieu of whole berry cranberry sauce in this recipe.
Improvements:
- Coat the ham with a mixture of 1-tablespoon dijon mustard and 1-tablespoon light brown sugar.
- Add the zest of an orange to the cranberry mixture.
- Add chopped pecans to the stuffing or cranberry layers.
- This cute lil’ Sectioned Pig Glass Ornament is the perfect addition to any holiday tree.
- Naughty kitty’s don’t deserve chicken treats; give them The Cat Lover’s 12 Days of Christmas Flour Sack Towel
instead. You can swat their little butts with it when they’re being little shits.
Ingredients:
- 1 (14-oz.) Can Cut Green Beans, Drained
- 1 (14.5-oz.) Can Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce
- 1 Granny Smith Apple, Peeled & Chopped
- 3 Tablespoons Orange Juice
- 1 Tablespoon Apple Brandy
- 1/4 Teaspoon Finely Ground Black Pepper
- Pinch of Kosher Salt
- 1 Large Ham Steak Slice (1.5-1.75 Pounds)
- 6 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter
- 1 Large Sweet Yellow Onion, Peeled & Chopped
- 1/4 Teaspoon Finely Ground Black Pepper
- Pinch of Kosher Salt
- 1 (14-oz.) Bag Herb Seasoned Classic Stuffing
- 1 (14.oz.) Can Low Sodium Chicken Broth
- 1 Granny Smith Apple, Peeled & Chopped
Directions:
- Mix together all of the ingredients with a silicone spatula.
- Evenly spread out the mixture in the bottom of a crockpot.
- Place the ham on top of the cranberry mixture.
- Saute the butter, onions, salt, and pepper over medium heat until the onions are translucent.
- In a large bowl, fold the onion mixture, stuffing, broth, and chopped apple together with a silicone spatula.
- Evenly layer the stuffing on top of the ham.
- Cook for 8 hours on low.
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