Sometimes life isn’t sweet. Sometimes life is like liver, liver with a side of lima beans. In short, not what you want it to be. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about something that recently happened to me. It’s not major, it didn’t really change anything drastically, and it just sort of pissed me off, and made life less sweet. Someone, an individual who doesn’t really know me that well, took it upon themselves to express their regret over the death of my brother. This in itself isn’t any earth shattering faux pas, but the way in which they did it really ruffled my feathers. They chose to discuss my brother like they knew everything about him, and made some statements that were I not so passive, would have had me telling them to go the fuck away and never darken my doorstep again.
Perhaps I should share that this person creeps me out to begin with, and that I try my best to be civil to them, but I would really rather have nothing to do with them. At first I told myself that I was just being harsh due to this dislike. But you know what? The more I think about it, and I can’t seem to stop thinking about it, I think I have every right to be a little growly about the whole situation. If you knew my brother, I’d love to chat with you about him and his habits, if you didn’t know him, shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your opinion on something you know absolutely nothing about. If you want to talk to me about the loss I’ve suffered, then ask me about that, ask me about him, but don’t presume to feel my loss, or talk about my brother as if he were someone you knew intimately.
So now what do I do? I guess I have no choice but to let it go, and chalk it up to someone having no social common sense. This is what B.O.B. Bob would tell me. Note that I have not asked him, because I know exactly what he would say if asked. He is the king of letting things go. Me, not so much. What a shocker. Perhaps not. So here’s how I let things go; I bake things with rainbow sprinkles. I order seven pounds of rainbow sprinkles online. Perhaps I go just a little overboard with the sprinkles, because they help to take away the taste of liver and lima beans. They make life sweeter.
- 1 Cup Unsalted Butter, Room Temperature
- 1 1/2 Cups Granulated Sugar
- 2 Eggs, Room Temperature
- 2 Tablespoons Vanilla Extract
- 1 Tablespoon Almond Extract
- 3 Cups All-Purpose Flour
- 4 Teaspoons Corn Starch
- 2 Teaspoons Baking Soda
- 1 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
- 1 2/3 Cups Rainbow Sprinkles
- Cream the butter and sugar together on medium speed for 3 minutes.
- Add the eggs one at a time, mixing them until well incorporated.
- Add the vanilla and almond extract, and then mix for an additional 3 minutes on medium speed.
- In a medium size bowl, sift together the flour, corn starch, baking soda, and salt.
- Slowly add the flour mixture to the butter mixture on low speed; mix until just incorporated.
- Use a rubber spatula to incorporate the rainbow sprinkles into the cookie dough.
- Use a cookie scoop to form the dough into balls, place on a cookie sheet, and gently pat down the top of each cookie till even.
- Cover the cookie sheet with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Bake the cookies for 9 to 10 minutes.
- Carefully move the cookies to a baking rack to cool completely.
- Store in an airtight container.
- Make sure to scrape down the sides of your bowl as you are mixing.
- I purchased a 10.5-oz container of Betty Crocker Sweet Toppings Carousel Mix at Safeway, which yielded almost exactly 1 2/3 Cups Sprinkles. You can use less sprinkles if you desire, but why would you want to. Sprinkles are life’s little sugary reminder that all is well with the world.
- Allowing the formed cookies to chill for a few hours will help them keep their shape during baking.
- This recipe will yield approximately four-dozen cookies.
- Buy sprinkles in bulk. I just ordered these from Amazon Prime. You can never have enough sprinkles. By the way, expect every recipe to have sprinkles in them for the next few weeks.
- If you have nut allergies, replace the almond extract with lemon or raspberry extract.
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