Baking at the beach has some serious downfalls, as I found out last week, while we were escaping from every day life in Corolla, NC. First of all, I was stuck with an oven that came off the assembly line sometime in the early 80’s, which has somehow miraculously managed to hang onto life by some strange twist of faith. To make matters worse, the oven was electric, causing many strongly worded phrases of nastiness to erupt from my mouth without thought or apology. If you’re gonna cuss like a sailor, at least you should do it at the ocean; that’s my new theory. Nothing can make me cuss more, or go insane quite as fast as an electric oven; my contempt knows no bounds for this dreaded undesirable kitchen appliance. By the end of the week, that oven and I are were getting pretty close to having a disagreement in which it would not have survived my foot kicking it in its little oven private parts. Oh, and did I also forget to mention the loveliness of working in a kitchen constantly dealing with the invasion of a small army of ants that are in full attack mode? It is not normal to have to keep your sugar in the refrigerator. Not normal at all. It is also challenging to let cookies cool on the counter, when you have constant fear of their being used as a jungle gym by the nasty little beasties.
- 1 Cup Unsalted Butter
- 2/3 Cup Granulated Sugar
- 2/3 Cup Dark Brown Sugar
- 1 Egg
- 4 Tablespoons Milk
- 2 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
- 2 1/4 Cups All-Purpose Flour
- 2 Teaspoons Baking Soda
- 1/2 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
- 1 Bag of Dark Chocolate Baking Chips
- 1 Cup Rainbow Sprinkles
- In a medium saucepan, brown the butter on high heat for 3 to 5 minutes. You want the butter to be a dark golden brown color, not pale, and not burnt. If using an electric stove, good luck with that shit.
- Place the browned butter in a heat-safe glass container in the refrigerator until solidified. This should take 30 to 60 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees, unless of course you are using an electric oven. If that’s the case, good luck, you’re pretty much screwed.
- Cream the butter with an out-of-date hand mixer from 1992 for about 2 to 5 minutes. Good luck with that shit.
- Add the sugars and mix for an additional 2 to 5 minutes.
- Add the egg, milk, and vanilla; mix until well combined.
- In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
- Slowly add the flour mixture to the butter mixture on low speed; mix until just combined.
- Using a silicone spatula, slowly stir the chocolate baking chips and sprinkles into the cookie dough.
- Use a cookie scoop or tablespoon to drop cookie dough onto a Silpat or parchment paper lined baking sheet.
- Bake for 10 to 13 minutes, depending on your crappy ass oven.
- Allow the cookies to cool on a baking rack, while constantly defending them from a major ant attack.
- Package the cookies in an airtight plastic container or plastic baggie.
- Don’t even attempt this recipe with an electric oven.
- The only cure for eating cookies that you have slaved over is to eat them on the beach. A little bit of sand makes them taste even better. If you’re lucky you won’t even notice that a few ants are in the cookie that you are attempting to eat.
- Throw in 1-cup of finely chopped nuts.
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