Christmas can be an enjoyable time of year. It brings heartwarming music, twinkling lights, an abundance of cookies, festive parties, and treasured time spent with friends and family. It can also bring embarrassment. Some of y’all who imbibed in one too many cocktails at your work holiday party this season may just know what I’m talking about. Thankfully, that wasn’t me. It’s a little hard to get plastered at your office holiday party when it takes place in a conference room without a single drop of laced eggnog in sight.
The embarrassingly funny Christmas story I’m thrilled to share with y’all today comes from many years ago when I lived in Spring Gap, Maryland. I’m not absolutely positive just how old I was at the time, however, I think it’s safe to guess somewhere around the age of eleven. That particular Christmas, I was excited to have my own personal miniature Christmas tree in my bedroom and I couldn’t wait to see what Santa was going to leave me underneath of it. Well, obviously at the age of eleven there was no way in hell I still believed in Santa, so it was more about me being a little brat and challenging my mother to somehow find a way to sneak a gift underneath that tree without me seeing it.
Well y’all, I stayed awake all night. I swear I didn’t sleep a wink, yet in the morning lo and behold there was a little wrapped present waiting for me beneath that lil’ ol’ tree. To this day, I still have no idea how my mom managed to get it there without me catching her in the act. So, just what was the little gift Santa left for me? Well folks, it was my very first training bra. I was thrilled about my first bra with its tiny little pink bow and couldn’t wait to wear it. What I wasn’t so thrilled about, was having to tell my dad I received a training bra when he asked me what Santa had left for me underneath my miniature tree.
Here’s a helpful hint for y’all this holiday season. Keep the embarrassing gifts private. Save them for a moment when no one else is around because I can pretty much guarantee you that no eleven year-old girl wants to tell her dad that Santa just brought her a training bra for Christmas.
- 2 1/2 Cups Old Fashioned Oats
- 1 1/2 Cups All-Purpose Flour
- 1 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
- 1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
- 1 Cup Unsalted Butter, Room Temperature
- 1 Cup Brown Sugar, Packed
- 1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
- 2 Eggs
- 2 Teaspoons Maple Extract
- 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
- 1 Cup Miniature Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
- 1 Cup Bittersweet Chocolate Chips
- 6 Slices Cooked Thick-Cut Bacon, Finely Crumbled or Diced
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- In a medium bowl, whisk together the oats, flour, salt, and baking soda; set aside
- On medium speed, cream the butter and sugars together for 3 minutes.
- Add each egg one at a time, and mix on medium speed for 30 seconds after the addition of each egg.
- Add the extracts; mix for 30 seconds on medium speed.
- On low speed, slowly add the flour mixture to the butter mixture until just combined.
- Use a silicone spatula to fold the chocolate chips and bacon into the cookie dough.
- Use a cookie scoop or tablespoon to drop the cookie dough onto a Silpat or parchment paper lined baking sheet.
- Bake the cookies for 9 to 10 minutes, or just until the middle of each cookie is set.
- Allow the cookies to rest for 5 minutes on the baking sheet before removing them to a baking rack to finish cooling completely.
- This recipe will yield approximately 3 dozen cookies.
- These cookies are best eaten within two days of baking.
- Due to the bacon, you will need to refrigerate these cookies in an airtight container if you do not plan on eating them right away.
- Sprinkle the top of each cookie with red crystallized sugar before baking.
- Add 2-tablespoons of pure maple syrup to the cookie dough.
- Roll the top of each cookie in finely chopped pecans before baking.
- Keeping Decorative Baker’s Twine around the kitchen comes in quite handy, especially around the holidays.
- These Nonstick Cooling Racks make cooling cookies a no-muss fuss.
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