Bacon is pretty high up on my scale of “The Silly Things in Life That Make Me Happy for No Reason At All.” Flowers are on that list too, but only certain flowers. B.O.B. Bob learned early on how to melt my frosty little heart. The first flowers he ever sent to me were Birds of Paradise for my birthday, when he was overseas in Thailand. I don’t think I need to tell you that he won some serious brownie points with that arrangement. Not only from me, but also from a few people that I worked with, who all of sudden were thinking who is this B.O.B. Bob guy, he’s really got it going on. There’s really nothing quite like getting flowers sent to your work to make you feel extra special. They make you feel like someone isn’t afraid to show the world just how much they care about you, as well as making you do a little I have flowers and you don’t dance, but perhaps that’s just my inner bitch coming out.
After that first arrangement, B.O.B. Bob and I had a few hiccups in our relationship over flower arrangements. After several years, I have finally convinced him that I do not need a $200 arrangement each time he buys me flowers, and am quite happy with a grocery store bouquet, as long as it does not contains lilies. You buy me lilies and you are dead to me. I don’t care who you are, or how much I love you. Lilies are evil. He also has come to discover that every once and awhile I like the good stuff. Every year or two he astounds me with an expensive bouquet that is so me, that I just know it is from the long list of hint flower arrangements I sent him years ago when we had only been together for a year or two. Yes, you heard that right. Early on I emailed him several photographs of flower arrangements that I though were absolutely to die for. B.O.B. Bob is not always great at thinking for himself, and is aware that in some cases he needs not only hints, but also hints that are so blatantly apparent they almost slap him upside of the head. When it comes to jewelry, flowers, kitchen gadgets, and clothing, B.O.B. Bob is always willing to have a little help. Who am I to deny him?
This year on my birthday, B.O.B. Bob somehow managed to even outdo himself with a lovely purple and white bouquet of flowers that made me melt into a little pile of goo at first glance. Tucked in the arrangement were several thistles, which are perhaps one of the “flowers” that mean the most to me. They are right up there with Queen Anne’s Lace, which also hold a dear place in my heart. I apparently have a thing for what most people consider weeds. At heart I’m just a country girl. Give me some bacon, brown sugar, mustard, and a few thistles on the side and I’m pretty much yours forever. You can keep your roses. They do absolutely nothing for me. Thankfully B.O.B. Bob has finally taken the hint where they are concerned, except for Valentine’s Day. He absolutely insists that they are a must for that day of the year. Oh well, at least he’s buying me flowers, right?
“The Silly Things in Life That Make Me Happy for No Reason At All”
- Hot Chocolate
- Queen Anne’s Lace
- VW Bugs
- Candied Bacon
- Corned Beef and Cabbage
- Bing Crosby
- Forehead Kisses
- Hand Massages
- 1 Pound Thick-Cut Bacon
- 1/4 Cup Brown Sugar
- 2 Tablespoons Pure Maple Syrup
- 1 Tablespoon Dijon Mustard
- 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Chipotle
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Line a baking sheet with tin foil, and then place a baking rack on top.
- Lay the bacon slices on top of the baking rack.
- Mix the brown sugar, maple syrup, mustard, and ground chipotle in a bowl, until all lumps are gone.
- Brush the mixture on top of the bacon slices.
- Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.
- Allow to rest for 5 minutes, before removing from the baking rack.
- Use Grade B Maple Syrup for a more intense maple flavor.
- Store the bacon slices between layers of parchment paper if you are not going to consume them right away. They will stick together if you don’t.
- Add 1-tablespoon of your favorite liquor to the mixture to thin it out if needed. I recommend whiskey and bourbon, but tequila works just as well.
- Add 1-teaspoon of horseradish to the mixture.
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