When the harness comes out of the “Box of Doom,” I know that something bad is about to happen. When Mommy and Daddy are both standing over me together, giggling between themselves as I walk sideways in my harness, I know that things are about to get even worse.
Earlier this week, Mommy & Daddy felt that it was absolutely necessary for me to check out Snow. I have only met Snow once before in my life, and that was over 10 years ago.
Snow looks a lot better from inside of the house; from outside it just feels so cold and scary. Not something I have a great desire to get down and play around in, but Mommy & Daddy insisted that it would be a fun experience.
I was hoping that if I closed my eyes hard enough, when I opened them I would magically be back inside of the house, curled up in my favorite bed, and not outside about to experience something I really wasn’t super thrilled about.
But no, we were gonna do this shit, no matter what my feelings were concerning the situation. Mommy and Daddy have minds of their own. And in this case, their minds were evil.
My fear of Snow became real as I was placed closer and closer to its’ dreaded horror. It seemed like there would be no escape for me. Snow and I were going to connect, and it was probably not going to be fun for me.
From the moment my first toe was put down in Snow’s cold blanket of wetness, I knew that things were going to be dreadful. Kitties do not like cold, and kitties definitely don’t like wet.
Where was I supposed to put my feet? There was no escape. Everywhere I looked there was Snow. Bad, evil, yucky, hateful towards kitties Snow.
I attempted to walk away from it, searching for a spot where Snow had not fallen onto the Earth, but I could find no such space in our Snow blanketed yard.
I searched further. Hoping. Praying. Desperately trying to find a place where I could escape from Snow’s chilly breath.
Then it hit me. There was one place I could reach that was not covered in Snow. It was there the entire time. How did I not realize escape was so near my grasp?
Daddy. Daddy was not covered in snow. Daddy was dry and warm, and I could climb him in search of a safer spot. Daddy would keep me away from Snow.
I had never climbed Daddy before, but I discovered that I could do it quickly, and that he would allow me do it. He knew that Snow and I were over, and that I needed a place to safely get away from Snow, as well as Mommy with her dreaded camera that were taking pictures of the entire humiliating experience.
Snow wasn’t as scary when I could see it from Daddy’s back. Daddies are safe. They keep you warm and dry, and tell you that it will all be over soon.
Mommies aren’t so safe. They laugh at your shameful experience, as they take picture after picture. Mommies will be dealt with later. Mommies don’t realize how bad payback can be.
Thankfully the entire meeting between Snow and I only lasted for a few minutes. I am not it’s biggest fan, I do not want to be it’s BFF, and I hope the sun makes it go away soon, so that I never have to lay eyes or paws on it again.
Shows over guys. I’m ready to head inside, have my harness removed, and run as fast as I can away from Mommy and Daddy. I must remember to hide the next time Snow comes to visit.
Come Join Us in the Kitchen!
Subscribe to Faith, Hope, Love, & Luck Survive Despite a Whiskered Accomplice to receive exclusive recipes, newsletters, and special updates.