I’m a solid 3. Thankfully that’s on a 1 to 5 rating system as opposed to one from 1 to 10. I’m sure y’all are wondering once again for the umpteenth time just what the hell I’m yammering on about. Well folks, this week I finally received my evaluation at what I like to call my filler job. It’s the job I have that is filling the place of the one I want until the day I can earn enough money to do what I love full-time. While this job doesn’t mean much to me beyond the paycheck, I am damn freaking good at it. So, it’s a little frustrating to be lumped in with the 3’s.
After filling out several different complicated forms that truly are a waste of time, followed by my supervisor’s filling out additional complicated forms that truly are a waste of time, the decision was made that I am definitely a 3 with one little ol’ 4 thrown in there, because if it hadn’t been there would most likely have been a curfuffle. Then, there was of course that 4 that no one in my department was allowed to get because Corporate said so, and we don’t want to make Corporate mad, so take your 3 and be happy with it.
Let’s add up the time wasted here folks. One to two hours of my time were frittered away on each round of forms that needed to be filled out while continuously reminding myself that banging my head on my keyboard was not appropriate behavior. That’s four hours on my end alone. Then, there’s the time that my supervisor spent evaluating my evaluation, which meant filling out more forms that truly are a waste of time, scheduling a meeting, and then spending a half an hour looking over and discussing my evaluation with me, all while assuring me that a 3 is amazing and that one 4 was well deserved.
In my opinion, below is basically a pretty good summary of the evaluation scale.
- You’re Fired.
- You come to work. You remember to breathe and not throw things at your co-workers as you do what is required of you. You go home.
- It’s not a bad thing. You’re amazing at what you do, but we don’t want to have to pay you more by giving you a 4. After all, there’s only so much money to hand out. Yes, we’ve done very well this year, but no we don’t want to reward you for that.
- We’ll give you one just to make you feel special, and we’ll take another one away from you because of Corporate bullshit. Take your 4, smile, and get back to your desk to await the next step in this what seems like it will never end evaluation process.
- Petition Corporate. Wait, you found a cure for cancer? Not good enough. Maybe if you build a bridge to Hawaii from Virginia we can work something out. Get back to us in 50 years when you finish that.
So, what the hell does all this rambling have to do with this chicken salad? Well, let’s just say that this chicken salad is a solid 4; it certainly doesn’t deserve a 3. First of all, it’s made with Autumn Crockpot Poached Chicken Breasts, which have taken a warm apple cider bath to make them tender, juicy, and flavorful. Then, the chopped chicken breasts have been tossed with even more apple cider, not to mention mayonnaise. Mayonnaise alone is worthy of a 4. Add some crunchy apples and celery and it’s fairly safe to say that this autumn chicken salad has gone above and beyond. Now, if you add some chopped pecans and dried cranberries to the mixture, we might be talking a 5 evaluation, but we’ll need to petition Corporate first for that.
Ingredients:
Autumn Crockpot Poached Chicken Breasts:
- 6 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
- 4 Cups Apple Cider
- 1 Tablespoon Kosher Salt
- 1 Tablespoon Whole Black Peppercorns
Crunchy Autumn Chicken Salad:
- 3 Autumn Crockpot Poached Chicken Breasts, Chopped
- 1/2 Cup Mayonnaise
- 2 Tablespoons Apple Cider
- 1 Apple, Peeled & Chopped
- 3 Celery Stalks, Chopped
- 1/2 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
- 1/2 Teaspoon Finely Ground Black Pepper
Directions:
Autumn Crockpot Poached Chicken Breasts:
- Place all of the ingredients in a crockpot on low heat for 8 hours.
- Remove the chicken from the crockpot, pick off any peppercorns that have become attached, and then serve as is or shredded or chopped in your favorite chicken dish.
Crunchy Autumn Chicken Salad:
- Mix all of the ingredients together until fully incorporated.
- Serve with crackers or on a sandwich.
Suggestions:
- Refrigerate the chicken salad for at least 4 hours before serving, so that the flavors have time to meld together.
- Use a crisp apple in this recipe. I used a Pink Lady, however, Gala, Fuji, and Honeycrisp varieties will all work beautifully in this chicken salad. You may choose not to peel the apples.
- You don’t necessarily have to use Autumn Crockpot Poached Chicken Breasts to make this chicken salad. You may choose to use shredded or chopped rotisserie chicken or even oven-baked chicken breasts instead. However, you will lose out on some flavor.
- Use the leftover poached chicken breasts in your favorite shredded or chopped chicken recipe.
Improvements:
- Mix a 1/4-cup of roughly chopped pecans into the chicken salad.
- Add dried cranberries to the chicken salad.
- Replace the chicken in this recipe with turkey.
Ingredients:
- 6 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
- 4 Cups Apple Cider
- 1 Tablespoon Kosher Salt
- 1 Tablespoon Whole Black Peppercorns
- 3 Autumn Crockpot Poached Chicken Breasts, Chopped
- 1/2 Cup Mayonnaise
- 2 Tablespoons Apple Cider
- 1 Apple, Peeled & Chopped
- 3 Celery Stalks, Chopped
- 1/2 Teaspoon Kosher Salt
- 1/2 Teaspoon Finely Ground Black Pepper
Directions:
- Place all of the ingredients in a crockpot on low heat for 8 hours.
- Remove the chicken from the crockpot, pick off any peppercorns that have become attached, and then serve as is or shredded or chopped in your favorite chicken dish.
- Mix all of the ingredients together until fully incorporated.
- Serve with crackers or on a sandwich.
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